you look at people and you see right past them. you don’t think about how every single one of them has a story. every one of those people are sad or are happy or angry. you look at this girl who is smiling and you would never guess that she will take her life away. the other night a girl ran into me and said she recognized me. the instinctive reply i gave her was a rude ‘do i know you?’ she replied with;’ i’m friends with cheyenne’. and in that moment everything around me just stopped. i took that girl whose name i didn’t even know into my arms and we held each other. i had no idea who this girl was, but we shared something that couldn’t be put into words. because we both knew that when you looked at cheyenne you’d see that big smile and those dimples and the thought would never cross your mind. you never thought that you would run into a random girl at a bar and share a moment like this one. going through the pain is hard. it hurts knowing other people are going through it too. and it will continue to haunt all of us for the rest of our lives. when usually there is a solution to every problem.. there is absolutely nothing you can do about this. its too late. all you can do is think.. and blame yourself.. and cry. sometimes you smile at a memory.. but other times everything you do reminds you of them. a song comes on that they liked or you revisit a place that you always went together. its hard knowing that i have to carry this around for the rest of my life. i feel weak when i cry. and i feel bad for everyone who has to see me do this. i know theyre probably thinking that i should be getting over it. i should move on. but they don’t see the half of it. they don’t understand. i don’t understand. i’m lost. and i miss you. rip
you know i consider myself a smart girl i mean i’m smart and i know it but when it comes to boys forget it i’m the dumbest of them all
why is it so much easier to be sad.
